What do I do know?

So I was a jerk. An unaware jerk but a jerk just the same. You know my husband and I have had many arguments about communication and what you say vs. what you hear and how things are taken vs. the intent. My self and another contestant had a death in the family and my use of that example was received poorly. And thinking about from their view it was in poor taste. I soooooo didn't mean it that way. In another avenue or arena I don't think this would or could have happened. The competition portion and the drama lends to making my error in judgement much more.

Unfortunately now, for the hurt I caused someone else, I am hurting because even with an apology I can't take it away. Me trying to explain one thing (or several) instead turned into something that may never be rectified. Well, rectified may not be the right word. How do you rectify feelings? You don't, you apologize and hope that person accepts. They don't have to. I screwed up and have to accept that.

I am not sorry that I was trying to explain something, or that I was wanted to comment on the rules after all the mess on the radio yesterday, but I DO want to apologize for being insensitive and did not think about what and how I wrote something would affect the other person. I thought I was totally trying to explain that it WASN'T about that person and instead, did nothing but hit the nail in the board so to speak.

I don't know what to do know. I am NOT a person to hurt someone, be mean to them, be insensitive even, but how can I prove that to a person who feels I did all those things to them? I will say again that I was responding to an email left on the forum earlier that was removed and several things that were said on the radio yesterday. It was not intended for you. None of it.

One day when this is all over, I may get my head around what I was trying to explain.
I will apologize again and say I am sorry for the hurt I caused. I am truly sorry for your loss.