Oh lord it's hard to be humble...when your perfect in every way...

Who is that song by? Hahahahahaha I am sooooo just kidding. That old country song just popped in my head. Currently I keep looking at my before and after pic becoming more vain by the minute (if that is possible)!!



Okay so I found it on youtube! I am really not vain or at least not that vain!!

Wk 8 pic on it's way.

So I came to work last week and Amanda from upstairs in OB asked which office was mine. I thought it was an odd question but I was busy, the phones were ringing, I figured she just needed to borrow something from us for her clinic. Well, she comes in the back door with a HUGE poster board with all of my pics from each week, how much I lost, and a BIG CONGRATULATIONS at the top. She even used glitter! I got goosebumps right then and there and I swear I wanted to tear up. I had the best support system through this whole thing and then for her to do that...well I about lost it. Even Liz (my friend and co-worker) just about teared up. I mean how super nice is that? Well, I am attaching pics. Anyway, thanks Amanda! It meant the world to me!

So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight!

Last day before the final chopping block....

I think I am kinda of giddy today. I am super excited about tomorrow no matter the outcome. We shall say who in the end takes it all home.

I don't live here but I do visit from time to time...

I am not real sure if anyone else has lived here, but the funny thing about glass houses is that they can be very fragile which is why I try really hard not to carry stones in my pockets (sometimes easier said then done).

Okay let me cut to the chase.....there is a lot of talking back and forth. We all know it makes for great reading and good drama, but unfortunately, it is also a hot bed for hurt feelings and poor attitudes.

Yes, I am going to take up for Niki, just as some of her friends have, just as some of her other teammates have and just like her husband has. Keep in mind me taking up for her is not me tearing down anyone else. She has become my friend and while I handle things differently or rather my reactions stem from different issues, she does have a right to express them as does everyone who has done so throughout this whole competition.

From my point of view and IT IS JUST A POINT OF VIEW, Niki is a fire cracker. She is bright, intelligent and responsive. Being with her day in and day out, we talk about all kinds of things. Obviously, one of the most prevalent is this contest. The majority of the time she is just joshing around, being silly and talking about whooping the pants off folks, me included! Just messing around having fun.

Then, she hears something on the radio about our team, or a member from the other team calls her and tells her things that seemingly go against the rules, or a member from the other team says something to her personally or things are said on the videos. Niki responds.

She defends herself and our team (what was our team before the trade).

I think the issue with everyone, or least my view of it, is that different people handle things differently. Unfortunately knowing that, it doesn't stop our A$$e$ from being chapped when we think we have been attacked, unfairly labeled or just plain misunderstood. This goes for both sides. Niki just chooses to be more public about her opinions and her frustrations. Heck she has even discussed her hemorrhoids and bowel movements. That is her.

We have ALL said stuff. It isn't fair to say no one else has. I have, you have, she has. We have all heard things, seen things and been around people saying things. The difference is the venue where these things are said and done and the lack of knowledge we all share from not having the complete stories on both sides.

I can only speak to what I know and what I know is limited. I mainly just want to say that things aren't always what they seem and we should all remember that.

One thing I do know is that this whole experience has been fabulous. I am proud of myself and appreciative of the time and effort all of the trainers and the radio station have put forth.

I also know I like Niki and think she rocks and that my new BFF Amanda is secretly the Bionic Women no matter how she tries to deny it.

Sunday and the final countdown

I really should go and get me some Jesus today. I started going back to church sometime last year. I think it was around October. And well, I have not really been able to take that off of my list of things to do because I quit going again. I don't think the little bobble head Jesus on my dash is what they meant when they said that we need to take Jesus with us everywhere. I was raised Catholic and don't profess to anything really at the moment. If anything I would have to say I am just a touch on the sacrilegious side. Don't everyone freak out at once. I am also politically incorrect on occasion, I uses swear words AND I am mean to old ladies. I AM JUST KIDDING, I don't swear. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA Jokes people jokes!!

Anyway, I really should get back to church, but that is not the topic for the day.

Actually, it is getting close to the end. Wednesday morning is it for us. I need to shake it like a salt shaker this week. For all the grown ups out there, that means I really need to put some effort into it.

I think I have shin splints again which really is NOT a good thing. Under normal circumstances I would say it is great. Not the pain part, but the not being able to run part. BUT, since I only have five work outs left it is HORRIBLE. Running is the one thing where I am pushed to the extreme. Or at least that is what it feels like. If I can't run, I hope that GI Jane and Brian can find me something else because I really need to push myself to the limit. They are the bosses though so I am sure they will come up with something that will make me cry!

The final countdown is here. Yeah I will still be eating fish, I have enough of it to feed a small village of Eskimos, but it is a countdown none the less!

I can't believe I haven't mentioned him before!

First let me say, while I am adapting to my new training peeps and routine, I miss my Niki! I miss you miss you miss you!! She is right. We have been attached at the hip! I think we still are!

Okay, now for the big one....MY HUSBAND. Can you believe I haven't really mentioned him? I mean those of you who know us know we have different schedules, different sleep patterns, pretty much a lot of differences. BUT, that being said he is my good looking hunk of a hubby who has been totally supportive. I think maybe because he wasn't all verbose on the forum or on here I just didn't say anything. I mean Niki's husband writes about her, for her, heck that sweetie pie even leaves me comments.

Anyway, I was so caught up in my food, or my lack of sleep, my training, pretty much this whole dang contest that I never gave any props to him. Sure, I did tell you guys he cooked brauts (which smelled divine), but that was it. Well, he asks me everyday how things are going, he reads the blogs, he makes sure I have water and he doesn't eat my "special" foods. He proudly talks to his parents about it and other folks too. I mean come on....a bunch of chicks working out? I think that is close to him having to listen to me talk about so & so's cousin who married my friend who wore that one outfit to the concert and then met so & so and they talked and they said blah blah blah. I mean it isn't something he would normally pay attention to. But you see, he is paying attention for me. He wants me to do good, he has not said one thing that is "dumb man" like at all. He has said the right things at the right time and in the right way.

And what did he get in return? Nothing but my sassy mouth and no props for him being there for me! I know you all gasp at the idea I could be sassy, but really I have that tendency. There are other words that could be interjected for the word sassy, but there is no need for us to go through the dictionary now.

Anyway, I love you Cliff. Thank you for being there for me! You rock and when this is over I plan to #@%^*&******%%^^ !!! oops the keyboard must have messed up!

GI Jane good trainer or the devil?

No she is not the devil! But she sure can work a person. The things is, while intimidation works (thanks Antoine), GI Jane does it in such a way that you not only like it, you want to do good. Does that make sense? Well, I think I misspoke, she doesn't actually use intimidation. She uses positive reinforcement and says things like good job the whole time. Technically I don't really LIKE cardio, but I did want to do better. She really makes you WANT to do a good job.

NOW, don't get me wrong, I think through my sweat filled vision she at one point had horns, but that could have been my mind playing tricks. I ran more today than I have in mucho mucho years, so I am pretty sure the lack of oxygen to my brain reacted with the fish I had last night for dinner and then my mind started acting hinky. Yeah, in my medical opinion I think that is what happened.

Anyway, she is nice and fun, but firm. I didn't die, I did keep up (barely) and from the sound of things I get to do some cool stuff at Saturday's work out. After that I am refereeing the Highpoint Coffee Dodge Ball Tournament. You guys should get a team or just come out to watch.

Oh and one more thing I think Amanda is the Bionic Woman, don't let her fool you!

To my peeps!

Niki I miss you miss you miss you! Thank you so much for being there with me this whole time. Yeah I know I have told you, but you have made this whole thing way more fun than I think it really is! Exercise is just not fun to me but you are!! I will not forget this or you! You my friend will always be a little sunbeam! Plus you rock but you should know that!


Amanda, my new peep, you are a silly mess and I love it! I swear I wouldn't have lost a dang bit of weight if we would have been together this whole time, you crack me up too much! I would have been laughing to hard to stand up straight and get a breath! This last week with you should be a hoot! No owls will be harmed in this endeavor!




Sooooo props to my peeps!

How do you spell what a snore sounds like?

So, my first night was a surprise. My new trainer had us train for two hours last night. Apparently, that is common. Problem is, I am not used to that, was not prepared, and thought I was going to fall out. I didn't. I am here today typing this. My eyes are squinty and a tad on the itchy scratchy side.

You see, not only did I get home later and in bed later, I got up earlier. Not just earlier, WAAAAAAAY earlier. My new trainer Brian sent a text last night that I didn't get until 4:59 am this morning. What had happened was....I turn my phone off at night so I can go sleepy go night night with no disturbances. I probably would not have gotten his text anyway because my cell service is not usually instantaneous when it comes to texts (especially when it has been off then turned on) so I got it way too late.

The jist was that we were going to work out at 5 not 4:30. TOO LATE. I was already up an at em. UGH! I am so tired! I was SUPER late to work today and I am still not close to being really aware.

Yeah I said it, I AM EXHAUSTED. YEP! But hey, that has been a theme throughout this whole shindig so I can cut it for one more week!! HELP!!



I have been in more than one of these positions the last seven weeks for sure!

One more week.

Talk about a mix up. Whew.....first, I get kicked off, but then I am not kicked off and get to stay. THEN, they mix up the teams. I am now with Amanda and my BFF Niki is with Lindsey. I get along fine with Amanda, but I will SOOOOO miss my sunbeam! But wait, there is more.............I now train with Brian and Kelley. My understanding is that GI Jane is tough. AND...AND they train at 4:30am until 6. It was 4am to 6am but luckily for me I guess I get a reprieve because now it is 4:30. Does any one have any idea if the world is even rotating at that time of the morning? I imagine it is much like this (turn on volume)




Ah well. Just one more week. I can do this!

Sausage and gravy, cheese dip, tacos, cheese and crackers, chocolate, diet Pepsi jazz, sandwiches from Rising Roll, Outback, beer...the list goes on and on and on. Is anyone else dreaming about food? It isn't so much that I am hungry. In fact I usually feel full just from the fish and lettuce I eat daily, but the smell of food...Coffee for instance, or a Digorno's pizza or the Bratwurst my husband cooked last night.....the smells just kill me. Even the greasy breakfast foods at the deli at Kroger that have been under a sun lamp for hours smell good. DO skinny people ever have that affliction? I don't know, but I know I do. Yeah yeah yeah, it is a life change, discipline all that healthy talk, but life change or not I can't just turn off my olfactory senses.

I can choose not to eat certain things. I have been doing that for seven weeks now. I HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR SEVEN LONG WEEKS. I will need to continuously make those choices, but the smell of freshed baked cookies is a bit much for anyone to ask me to ignore. I am trying to lose weight not be a contestant on survivor. Although right now a big juicy beetle might taste good who knows.

Tomorrow we have weigh ins. We shall see where I go from there. Stay tuned.........

That's All Folks!

It is almost over. This overwhelming, difficult, best thing to happen of a learning experience is almost over. Part of me is counting the days, while part of me wonders can I keep it up when this is all said and done. I honestly don't know. I feel as though I have learned discipline. I feel pretty confident I can and have changed my eating habits permanently, but to be truthful, I am scared.

First, before I finish discussing my insecurities, let me say thanks to the radio station Q107.5 for putting this on and picking me to be a part of it. Thank you to the trainers at Forever Fit for taking their time to teach us what to do and making us see that we can do it even when we are laying on the ground gasping for breath and saying we can't. I have actually utilized HaLees and they are great, and I bought some vitamins the size of small elephant tranqs at the Vitamin Shoppe so props to the sponsors as well.

I also want to thank all of my friends and family. I can't begin to write every one's name in here. I even had people from high school who I haven't seen in years vote for me. I have had the kids I babysit vote so much we had to ask them to stop because they didn't understand the rules and were flooding the network. I have had exes, best friends and acquaintances either write a comment, vote or both. I have had co-workers (friends) make me signs and give me balloons and keep me away from the cookies on the kitchen table. I have had phone calls and I have had emails. I even had people as far as Amsterdam support me in this endeavor. I can't possibly begin to express how these people and their thoughts and support have kept me going. I wanted to quit more than once and right when I thought I couldn't take another minute, I had a comment left on this blog, or a phone call.

I also want to thank the people who have been doing this right along side me. You have all been a huge source of support and Niki, I couldn't have done this without you!

Thank you all.... Now...let's go get a beer! Oh dang....still in the contest. No beer for me. Week after next then?

This is the end........

I just typed a whole mess of stuff only to accidentally delete it. Basically I was saying thanks and giving props to folks. I wanted to do that before the competition was over so that peeps would have time to read it and now how grateful I am. It isn't the end yet, but I was going ahead and giving my goodbye speech. I will try and retype something this week.

On the light side.

I think tomorrow I am gonna blow this blog up with a bunch of idle chatter (of course I am not sure how that is different from other blogs but....)! Anyway, today my babble will be light as it was last night. I wanted to go to a rummage sale that Stacey talked about but I will be refereeing some dodge ball games from 12-4. Then I have to go work out after that. So, for now I am going to finish my laundry, eat a snack of chicken and snap peas and go curl my hair. Have a great Saturday!!

Friday Night

I am chillin with my girls tonight. Doing the whole babysitting thing. Although the word baby is not accurate. Lily is 12 and Molly is 9 (and I can't forget the 1/2 she says). Anyway, they aren't babies at all. We have fun watching our shows and doing something fun and creative. Tonight we are going to make a fairy garden!! Anyway, I have to get back to our evening! Catcha tomorrow!

I did the math

Well, I am currently right in the middle of the pack. If the weights on the website are correct that is.

AND THAT my friends, makes me happy. The middle you say? How can the middle make you happy? Well, I am still in the running which is great. I am not doing as poorly as I thought, and besides, things in the middle can be great. Like the middle of an Oreo cookie. The middle of a cheese sandwich, the middle of a great dinner (when you realize it tastes so good and you still have half to go). The middle of my stomach which is quickly retreating! So see there are things in the middle that are great (minds out of the gutter please)!

I tried to post the totals, but I was not savvy enough to format it to fit here and too lazy to reformat it!!

Something else....

It does bother me to hear my trainer on the radio say he loves me, but basically I am not going to push Niki like Stacey will so he wants Niki to be sure she thinks about that. Okay, point taken, good point, could that have been said in private? I have to go to the gym tonight knowing he thinks I am a chump. Okay he didn't say that, but my feelings are hurt so I prefer to inject my own words here. If I had not gotten today's vote to stay, I would have been in the top six out of twenty. Not to shabby eh? Why oh why am I so dang fixated on something I consider negative with my feelers all hurt? Dunno!

Perhaps I didn't listen long enough but couldn't it have been at least said like I am not some insignificant cog in this whole thing. I mean I have lost 26 pounds and I didn't start at 300. I started at 202. I have NOT missed a day, I have done my blogs and by gosh I am trying. And don't even bother to ask me if I would like some damn cheese with my whine....you should all know the answer! :)

Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to put this fussy feeling aside long enough to realize it doesn't matter. I am still here and get another week of expensive training and will lose even more weight. It is my job to push me and my job to get it together. Always has been.

I still feel like fussing but any additional comments or issues are really irrelevant and won't change anything. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Still hanging on

Yes I am happy. I am happy. I AM HAPPY. YES, I AM. Right? Should be easy right? I am here and that is all that matters. I am here and am only 4.5 lbs behind PoohBear. Not so bad. I want to throw in the ten year age difference too but it doesn't really mean squat. It is all about what I can do, how hard I push myself and in the end do I think I made a concerted effort. Did I do my best? Can I keep it up? Will I push myself to the max? I hope to H E double scribble that the answer is yes to all those. My reticence with this whole deal is that I keep hearing I am not a competitor (or rather someone else is a bigger one), blah blah blah.

Am I going to win? Well based on the numbers probably not. But there are five of us out of 20 left. I am not sure about today, but I was not at the bottom and frankly, the idea just kinda hurts my feelings. Why? I have NO IDEA! It is really silly. Who cares? I shouldn't. I am still here. But dang if it doesn't just set wrong with me. I am really not sure why I am allowing something so insignificant to bug me. I don't get nervous about weigh-ins or being kicked off. Instead I am focused on something that should just do nothing but make me prove folks wrong. Weird huh?

Well I am working on it.

Tuesday which is the day before Wednesday.

How much do I weigh? Hmmmmmmm? That is the question for the minute. Guess what? I have no clue. I have weighed since last Wednesday for sure, but I did so late in the day or the middle of the day after eats and gallons of water etc. I am not worried. Should I be? I really don't think so. Stay or go I rocked this contest. I have lost such a big chunk of change that it is impossible to be disappointed. I am so much closer to what I envisioned I wanted to look like. I hope like crazy I have formed habits that will stick and I have found that healthy food won't actually kill you. It tastes like it might, but it can actually be digested. Who knew?