Operation Big Butt has turned into Shutyerjigger.

Yeah yeah …you heard me! I am working on it...I AM!!!

Where we work, we are offered a gym membership up the street at the University for FREE. That is correct…No charge, zero mula, FREE FREE FREE!!!

You know how many times I have gone recently? That would be NADA!

You know how much beer I have had, with the tasty salty goodness of cheese, chips, more cheese and then maybe a Gyro and a truck load full of Dolma?

Let’s just say I eat so much Dolma the Korean lady at the Kwik Check by my house (A Korean and Mediterranean eatery/7-11) has asked me twice now, if I am Greek or Mediterranean.

Well, Dolma being made of grape leaves and such isn’t the worst thing.

I hear tell, that it is actually the beer.

No I am not kidding. You thought it was a myth too? I am here to tell you first hand my friends, THAT is not the case.

Apparently, now this is all hearsay, lack of exercise contributes to it all. I KID YOU NOT!!! 

WOMEN can get a beer gut! No lie! And it ain’t sexy. NOPE, UH HUH, NO WAY, NO HOW.

SOOOOOO what started out as Operation Big Butt (because let’s face it, I do have a good sized boohonkus) will now be upgraded to Operation Ginormo!

That means *shudder*** no beer, no chips, (oh I am keeping the cheese), and more of the whole waking up at night with my legs stove up, my back feeling like I carried around a herd of spider monkeys all day and the rest of my body being extremely put out with the whole “now she’s 38, getting old, and NOW she decides to get in shape) Uh huh…..” thing I am about to put it through.

I do not like fruits. I do not like vegetables or beans, or legumes, or too many kinds of fish, or stew, or goulash or soup, or grilled things, or organic things, or really anything that is truly deemed good for you. Well, I like orange juice.

Anyway my point is, that I am one unhealthy ticking time bomb. That is so not bringin’ the hotness!! I may bring the hot sauce, but that is exactly my point!!

I don't know where I got this or how long I have had it, but I kept it, because every time I watch it, it makes me smile. Kids make me happy and I find that being around them seems to really recharge my emotional battery.

I am 38 now and single and while there is still a chance that I may have a child, my window of opportunity is not quite as open as it used to be. I am not lamenting merely stating fact. While it is no secret this year has not gone as pleasantly as I would like, I don’t want to add anymore coulda, woulda, shoulda’s to the mix.

In any case, I hope this video comes through. Turn your volume on! I hope it makes you smile like it does me!

Merry Happy Holiday!

I tried to send you all something sexy for Christmas this year but the mailman told me to get the stamp off  my ass and get the hell out of the mailbox!

Sorry maybe next year!

Have a great holiday!

I so wish I could just say it...........

I feel like writing some stuff. I reckon I can, but I would have to delete a big honkin amount of it.

Some people have told me to just write. Write what I feel, write what I am thinking.

It is just so happens for me, that one, some of the things I want to say are really not for other people’s ears, eyes, knowledge….and two, I write a blog already so I don’t much wanna write something twice or in two different formats. One for me and one for you (all nine of you).

I am not dating, but if I were, I couldn’t write about it here so I don’t hurt my ex (in case he or an ex in-law read it). He may not care, and it shouldn’t matter , but it does (to me).  I don’t wanna know what he is doing I can guarantee you that! Of course, I am dateless, but if I wasn’t, well… I wouldn’t.

I can’t write about my family, because I don’t want to get a “beat down” by inadvertently saying something about a family member that wasn’t my business to say. OR…OR hurt their feelings OR say what bugs me about them and then be forever an outcast. I don’t really think any of that would happen, but frankly, I don’t want my business told to the world by them. I tell everyone myself anyway. AND I for SURE would not relish knowing what bugs them about me. So again, no info to be had here.

I can’t write about my friends because I think I have pretty good ones and the people I would write about aren’t really my “friends” anyway and anything I would say would be pointless, unheard, and irrelevant to anyone other than me.

I certainly can’t write about politics because I don’t have a clue about them.

I don’t plan on writing about religion because I am not in the mood and there is no telling what kinda crazed “I’m going to hell” kinda back lash I would get for having a different view. You scoff, but some folks are CUCKOO!!

So then what do I write? I have lamented over my weight, hurts inflicted purposely and unknowingly by others. My own internal struggles, my mom’s illness, and my dad’s death. I have written about sorrow, confusion, loss, grief, gumption, awareness, loneliness and hope.

"Hey April why don't you write about being happy?" Happiness? Happiness you say? UHMMM that is why I read fiction.

Truth be told I am happyish, I do smile and have been told I jest on occasion.

I want to tell “so and so” they hurt my feelings
or that “other person” that they kinda weird me out.

I want to say shuh uhh that is SOOOO not what happened.
Or tell my friend I really don’t want to do that this year.

I want to talk about what I think, why I think it, and why I am right (okay that maybe pushing it)!! J

I feel crammed to capacity with thoughts and feelings and unlearned lessons.

Today, I will leave things as is.

Okay so Operation Big Butt got underway yesterday.

Today I can barely walk. Goodgoobleygoo what was I thinking. You know me. I am super outta shape. What in the samhilltarnation made me decide I could walk 17 flights of stairs. Holybejeezus!!!

Well I am a shape, it just happens to be round!! But, what I mean, is that I tend NOT to be the one who is always ordering steamed vegetables…unless that is the name of a new beer.

Anyway, yesterday my office mate and I decided at 10 and 2 every day we are going to put on our tennis shoes, get up and take a walk up the stairs, around the building, down the hall….ya know the word I am looking for…..ehhh….uhhh…oh yeah….EXCERSIZE!! ugh!!

So we did. I pipe up and say “hey, let’s take the stairs!” SAY WHAT?

Last night when I got home I felt fine. I took a shower, settled in, watched the tube, then went to bed. Nothing wrong with that. Then BAM…BAM…BAMM BAAAMMMMM my legs stove up. Yeah you know what that means. It means my legs muscles constricted and my calves felt like  they had been replaced with blocks of cement.

Only 868 days to go! Woooohoooo!!!

Okay,  I hope it doesn’t take that long but I am gonna do whatever it takes. OH YES I AM !!!