Really I am just disappointed, disillusioned if you will.
When is enough enough? When do you decide in your own head, that you have had enough? When do you take a look at your surroundings and tell yourself you’re an idiot for being there?
Not only that, no one brought you to this place. You brought yourself!
I sit down to write, and really can’t even do that. I can’t express what I really think or won’t...not here, because then my idiocy would be there for all to see (more so than usual if you can believe that).
Oh… now don’t get me wrong. I am forever embarrassing myself, making mistakes and in general, just really screw up sometimes. But this is more than that.
Just a few blogs ago I was talking about being confused and body language and all that mumbo jumbo….well okay it is still valid for me (I really don’t seem to get folks these days…male or female), but what I didn’t account for was me just being a complete dumb ass. I mean NO CLUE AT ALL.
Then…all of a sudden…..BAM! It hit me….confused? No…. more like delusional. What in the hell WAS I THINKING?
People don’t purposely hurt your feelings…no way, people don’t do that at this age.
Vindictive? Who?
People will see your good…they don’t listen to other people who don’t even know you to make decisions... that would be unfair.
People always sound like that….it’s not sarcastic or biting at all.
Hurt my feelings…of course not, I am too sensitive.
Apologize? Of course you don’t have to. I deserved it!
I am a complete idiot.
I assumed.
I believed.
How can I be disappointed by other people when I was the dingle who was naive to begin with?
The sad thing is... I will do it again.
5 comments:
You are NOT an idiot and you're NOT delusional. You're just relearning yourself after years of 'setting yourself aside.'
You need to be more patient with yourself!
Love your the new design of your blog, by the way!
Oh- and thanks again for all the 'phone therapy' the other night!
Love you!
XOXO
Hello April. Just be your likeable dingle self. Go ahead and write, and worry about nothing. That's all I do.
A dingle called Valance
K!
You're a sweet woman and a kind woman...and maybe a wee bit naive like I use to be. I just learned this hard lesson a few months past.
There are those (at this age) who still seek to still hurt and be mean to others...they were the same when they were young...this type of person rarely grows up and it would seem there are more of them today than before, because everyone today seems to think they can say 'whatever they want' and the rest of us polite people just have to accept them....hummm, I don't know about you...but manners were created for a reason...
Those who don't want to follow the rules can expect me Irish to fire up and tell them off...in a polite way of course. ;-)
I mean really...it's o.k. if they talk openly (mean about others) but God help us if we respond in kind - they can dish it out but can't take it...it's a one way road for them it seems...I don't do one way roads anymore!
Stay who you are...you're loveable and I adore you...the rest of those ugly people...ignore them...don't let them affect your day or your life!
Hawk
Hawk you sweet sweet person you! Thank you! You and Mr. V have no idea how pleased I am to know you both. You are so right about getting your "Irish" up. I am part Irish and part German so I can sure get my mad on!! BUT politely of course! That being said, some people no matter what you say or how, can hear what they want. No amount of explaining helps (I often seemingly make it worse).
My biggest thing is trying to express what my head thinks in a verbal manner that certain people will get. Unfortunately, that can't always be done and for sure, I need to just let it go!!
I can't get to your blog any more during the day, but I will for sure make it a point to visit when I get home after work!
Have a fantastical rest of the weekend!
Darlin'
You make it to my blog when you can...don't worry about that...when you get there you get there. ((hugs))
The worse thing a nasty person can do to you is to cause you to doubt yourself...don't let them get by with that! In our *couch* polite *cough* Irish temper (big grin) let them know you don't play their nasty little games and you're not going to let them impose their negativity on you any more!
you're above these types...don't ever forget that!
P.S. rememeber...not all people WANT to HEAR what your saying, they'd rather believe they know what you meant...so it doesn't matter what words come out of your mouth...they're going to hear what they want - not what was actually said.
You can't win with people like that
big hugs
Hawk
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