My friend said I was old the other day......

Well folks, another year has come and gone, and I find myself at milestone in life. I say it is a milestone. It may not be to some but for me it is. I turned forty today. Well actually at 1:42 am. Annnnndddddd…..I feel the same. No epiphany, no feeling of euphoria, no feeling of “where has my life gone”. Nothing…NADA. Should I feel something? I mean don’t get me wrong, I think about where I am in my life, my health, my lack of marriage and children…my overall clock ticking down, ALL the time. BUT I always thought when you hit forty you were supposed to somehow come to some definitive….something. I don’t know.


Who am I at forty? What kind of person am I? Are there things I can change? Make better?

OR am I just what I am as of today and that is all.

I mean I obviously know the answer to that. We should always learn and grow and strive to be our best, but do I really feel like I can? Do I want to? I am after all forty now. Set in my ways, getting older by the second, nearing my expiration date one second at a time.

Well I say “H E Double Hockey Sticks” I can! Do I want to? More than you can know. More than I like cheese!!

I have got to get an attitude adjustment. I NEED to be happy and positive and hopeful. I AM GOING TO BE HAPPY, POSITIVE AND HOPEFUL. Do you think since I cap locked it will make it so? Kinda like in an “I Dream of Jeannie” kind of way?

Eh….I reckon that is really up to me isn’t it? I mean I am forty and an adult now. Right?

Nope... I don't think so....

Well NO pup for me. That lasted for all of a day, and during that day, I am pretty sure I no less than 4 strokes, 3 panic attacks and possibly a heart attack or two.

Me thinks I was not ready for such an undertaking. Good news though, I took Pup back to my friend (she said I could) who then gave Pup to her 15 year old. My friend already has a dog that I am pretty sure is part horse. His head is/was bigger than Pup.

Well, Pup let out a vicious bark that made Dog jump back with a quickness.

Please keep in mind Dog did have his nose in Pups....

Well, anyway, Pup barks, Dog jumps back, Pup is put on the floor then it is "off to the races". Dog and Pup start chasing each other around the couch like they had bets buds forever. It was really pretty funny but I felt instantly better. It was the right thing to do I think. My friends daughter takes Pup everywhere and has named her Xena Warrior Princess Chaulk Baronowski. Xena for short.

The first day  Pup Xena was put in the kennel, Dog stood at alert and started whining with her and I was told had a look on his face to say "hang in there, I'm gonna getcha out". Dog even goes and gets a sock all by himself and brings it to Zena so they can play.

So all in all I think I learned that I am not ready for a puppy....so what about a baby?

PS. Cooper is Dog's real name!

Say what? You brought me a what? You got it from where? You brought me food, a bed, treats? SAY WHAT?

Holy McJeebus what am I gonna do. I have NEVER had a puppy and I sure as heck don’t know how to train it or if I will have the patients not to pick her up every time she cries.

Lordy Lordy I am fixin’ to be forty and this is my first pup. The only other child I have is my goat cat. Talk about skeeerrrt. That would be me! Seriously.

Last night I slept on my dirty arsed kitchen floor that I have been meaning to mop but hadn’t  yet. Yes you heard me. ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR. Why? Because she was crying and was in new place and needed me. This AM about 4:30 I had all I could take and got up and put her in the bed with me. Goat cat hid under the bed all night.

I woke up early this am (not like I really slept) and took her outside. She would not leave my side so I walked barefoot in the wet grass to get her to come out there. PeePeePooPoo? NOPE. In we go, I put her back in the kitchen which I had pardoned off with some boxes and such. She peed then. I went to get ready for work and she starting crying and caterwauling so I put her in the bedroom with me on the bed. I walk into my closet (she can’t see me) and she commences to make noises as though she is being strangled or lashed with a wet noodle.

Anyways, right now she is at the vet getting washed and cleaned and poked and prodded. I know that is scary for her, but it has to be done. OH… I failed to mention my friend found said puppy on the side of the road sorta kinda. So of course I did not want goat cat (my baby) to catch anything, and I for one, am NOT fond of fleas.

As I write and think and let all of my anxieties, fears, exhaustion come into play, I sound a tad on the "no pup for me side", but really I am just freaked out. It means big changes. Good ones I think, but right now I can’t get passed the freaked part!  Dogs are SOOOOO much different than cats. I hope I can do this. I am getting so many people saying different things and that just makes me all the more scared. Crate her? Don’t? Puppy pads? Let her sleep with me? Will she and the cat get along?

I DON’T KNOW and I am buggin’!!

So please wish me luck. Pray for the little pumpkin that I make a good puppy mommy. She is still an “it” right now. I need a name!!

Any ideas?

PS. My friend knew I had ben thinking about it and I didn't want to get one without having food etc....she brought me all of that. Isn't that sweet? Excpet for the dog part!! LOLOL Kidding, I will adjust! She will have me trained by the end of the week!

Tagged am I?

So here I am Miss JJ! Better late than never!

Let me not disappoint.

1.       What is the best place about where you live? Well, I am going to go with the figurative answer of me living in an apartment. The rent is cheap and the apartment is HUGE!

2.       If you could be anyone you wanted to be, other than yourself, who would you be? No specifics here, just one of those people who is always in a good mood, smiling and chirpy all the time, who loves doing and being! Like I used to be!

3.       What is your favorite item of clothing? Well,  it was those bloomers Mr. V showed everyone (which I never got back), but now I would have to say all of my pajama pants! LUV me some Pjams!

4.       Who or what inspires you most? My Aunt Jane! Not enough words to describe her. She is just full of awesome!

5.       Do you use public transport? No. I have my own vehicle BUT I wish I did. It is cheaper. I honestly can’t figure out the bus schedule.

6.       What is mostly likely to set off the fire alarm at your home? Someone else’s apartment catching mine on fire. I don’t cook at all. Or it could be rickety wiring since the building is so old. OR it could just be my general hotness!!

7.       What do you do to stay healthy? Is that a trick question? Have you seen the size of my…..

8.       If you could pass one new law, what it be? For people to not where cologne or perfume in tightly enclosed, public places. It all gives me a stomping bad headache and then nausea ensues.

9.       Is there a uniform that grabs my attention? Yes, that of mail exotic dancers. Or cowboys.

10.   If you had to choose between who you love and what you love doing what would win. My loved one depending on the circumstance. I mean if they are who I love, and they don’t love me back, then what I love would win.

11.   What is your best time of day? Depends on the day but mainly when I get home and put my jammies on.

Tada! All done!

My next post should be about a new puppy I got that my friend TOTALLY ambushed me with. SERIOUSLY she did!

Awww you shouldn't have......

But I am glad you did! Thanks Mr. V.

He says he gave it to me because he likes whoppers. Or I am a whopper, or maybe he said it was because I caught a big fish? Eh, no matter I am just glad I have it! Purty ain't it?

Okay, so I finally learned the rule of this award thing. I have to tell you seven things you don't know about me. Let's start with number one.....drum roll please!

1. I like strawberries but the acid in them burns my mouth.
2. I still don't own a bedazzler (probably for good reason) even though I ask for one every year,
3. I like footie pajamas (but don’t actually own any).
4. I love flip flops
(BUT you sooo have to make sure you have a pedicure…no… I mean it!)
5. I am vain about my hair.
Yes, I KNOW vanity is horrible and actually I wear my hair up almost every day. I need to get it colored but there it is….I like my hair to look nice and think I have good hair. Yet, I rarely wear make-up (and yes I need it) so maybe we all just have our….things.

This wasn’t seven things about me that are all good and wonderful…….was it?

6. I have a muffin top…what TMI?
I mean, I try to dress to reduce the obviousness of said top, but I can only do so much.
7. I want a puppy.


There you have it! Please come again! And thanks again Mr. V you ole cutie patootie!

Sleepy go night night!!

I don’t know what it is, but I do my best thinking at night.

Well that isn’t exactly true. I do my best “let me ponder the meaning of life” at night. Or rather anytime from like 2-6 am depending.

You could also call it my “let’s run through every regret, hurt, angst filled, unhappy moment of your life” pondering. You choose! It is all the same.

The thing is, when I am thinking about all of that Negative Nelly junk, I think of it in blog speak. How would I write about it, what would I say and how. Then, I finally fall back to sleep for however long, wake up later, and all of my thoughtful mental soliloquies are gone.

Or, if I am not being nocturnally introspective, I am having odd ball dreams incorporating gosh knows what with people I feel certain I have never seen before. That is not unusual. I think most people have odd dreams. The odd part is the dialogue; scenes etc. are set, reviewed and replayed as though I were reading a book.

It’s almost like a book on tape/cd. It is being read/thought/spoken instantaneously and my mind “sees” whatever it does just like I were reading a book and imagining what the author is trying to convey.

Whether dreaming or quasi awake, me thinks that having a ginormous cat/goat cat sleeping on my head is prolly not conducive to a good night’s rest. I’m just sayin’…………..