There are so many times I start to write something and then stop. I am always rambling about something (in my everyday life) and the majority of the time I sound like a doofus.
I stutter on occasion. I am not a stutterer per say, but on occasion my mind and mouth aren’t on the same timing (almost like an old Japanese film dubbed in English). Then we have the fact that sometimes my mouth opens and spits stuff out before my mind really had time to think it through. I guess that would also be a case of timing.
At times, I think I am witty and smart, and then at others I feel completely lost, out of my element and annoyingly insecure. Mostly, I just don’t know what I think.
So, when I finally sit down to write something and get it out or express myself, the above issues take over. You may not think a person can stutter when they type, but believe you me, I edit these things a jillion times. If I didn’t, you would know exactly what I mean.
And as I have said in other ramblings on this blog, a lot of what I want to say…I won’t. If this was completely anonymous and no one could ever find out it was me, then well…I MIGHT. But even then things somehow seem to come around and bite folks in the boodonkydonk.
Keep in mind that it isn’t as though I have some dark and twisted secret I need to tell about myself or any of you. But there are things you would know. A situation that involved you, or work, or gosh knows what.
I am not all that private with my every day, poppin’ off at the mouth self. But sure has sheeting (not the word I am actually thinking) I write it here, and all manner of things start breaking loose. It’s not what I would say really, just my luck.
You know how many times people say (myself included) don’t tell anyone? Okay!
I won’t tell you he said she was….or that my dad……or that I……or that she said…..or that I think………..
4 comments:
hey Sweetie,
Cute post.
I'm a very private person and I have an odd way of looking at life...I'm not one to say "Don't tell so and so I told you, but..."
Because I've learned more times than not that person you're saying it too will go and tell that so and so you asked them not to tell...get's a person in trouble when they say stuff like that.
If you tell me a secret...it stops right there...no one will hear that secret from me...but I know I'm a odd one.
I've learned the hard way...if someone wants someone else to know something - they'll tell them themself...it's not my job to tell anyone what they told me....and yes, I've gotten h*ll for minding me own business too...one never really wins...but I find I get into less trouble letting other tell what they want told.
Like you...I have to edit, cut and edit a zillion times before I can post...I have to remember to use my instead of me and things like that...once in a blue moon when I'm working late and I'm tired a wee me will work it's way in and I say what the heck...'tis me and how I talk when I'm unpolished and not worried about my public image.
I think we all go through our days feeling like you feel and have so beautiful written about today!
Hugs Sweetie
Hawk
You ain't the only one who edits a jillion times, Apey. Sometimes it takes me hours to clunk out a single paragraph.
Think you sound like a doofus? Hmm, I don't know about that. I know one thing though - you're a warm, likeable, wonderfully entertaining doofus. As a matter of fact, you're my favorite doofus, and I ain't just saying that. So c'mon, write what you feel and worry about nothing but being yourself and pleasing yourself. Because folks appreciate you just the way you are.
Thanks Hawk and Mr. V. I don't think I would even have kept writing what I do write had I not met the two of you! Your encouragement and just occasional word here and there has really been a big help and a great sense of warmth for me personally!
Good, that means you've no excuse now, for not writing.
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